AN OBSERVATION OF FIJIAN SOCIETY:
THE CONFLICT BETWEEN INDIVIDUALITY AND COMMUNALISM
by Apryle Pickering

Chapter 5
Life Histories

Chapter 5

Life History Interview #1

Life History Interview #2

Life History Interview #3

In Fijian society there is a strict theme of working for the good of others. People often emphasize the importance of living together peacefully in the village and following the words of the elders. Fijians pride themselves on family bonds, and, as with all the rituals that I discussed in the first part of this chapter, these bonds can be somewhat demanding at times. The question can then be raised: are the Fijians following their traditions and living their lives a certain way because they choose to or because it is expected of them? This is the underlying theme that I found in doing four life history interviews. All four were younger women and only one was married. They discussed what it was like to grow up in Fiji and fulfill the roles that were expected of them as women. Here I will show that women experience the demands of their society differently at various stages of the life cycle. They often feel very constrained when young but come to experience their life more positively as mothers, perhaps because being a mother wins them respect and gives them some autonomy at least within the family.

Life History Interview #1

My first informant illustrated well the pattern of women feeling highly constrained in the early years of marriage but experiencing motherhood as a more fulfilling role. She was with a middle aged women who is now married with three children. She grew up in Suva and lived with her parents from class one to class four. From there she moved to Vitawa with her mother and finished her schooling in Navatu Primary School. She went back to Suva for her secondary schooling and when she met her husband and decided to get married she returned to the village to raise her children. It is very common for people in the village to continue their schooling in another part of Fiji, but most times they always return to the village to get married and raise their children. This may be due to the influence of their parents and the demands of the family functions or the willingness of family members in a village to help raise children. It is hard for mothers to work or go to school unless they have a relative to help look after the baby. She enjoyed her childhood but wished that she could have stayed in the village to finish her schooling as opposed to moving to Suva. She sees life in the village as much more relaxing and less stressful. She states that in Suva, "People are too busy, they run for the bus and cause a lot of commotion. In the village they just mind their own business and do their own work." Clearly the decision to move to Suva was not her own and one that was dictated by her parents and the community, although she enjoys village life.

Her marriage was not as she expected, which is very common for women in Fiji I have found. She was married when she was twenty-two and felt that they did not know each other very well. She met her husband in a Methodist church group and also knew him from the short time they were schooling together in Navatu Primary School. Her wedding was held at the household of her husband's family on the grounds of the Fiji Sugar Corporation. None of her family was present and she found the whole experience to be very traumatic. Once they were married, instead of moving into their own place, they stayed with her husband's parents for an extended period of time. This was very difficult for her since she had to obey his parent and perform all the household duties as well as taking care of her first child. It was not until she became pregnant with her second child that her husband finally agreed to move to Vitawa to live near her family (her father has since passed away).

She described her marriage overall to this day to be a good one; however, she did mention that they had numerous conflicts in the beginning stages of their marriage. She stated, "It is good while we are happy but when the time came when there was trouble I didn't want to be married I wanted to go back home." She informed me that in the first five years of every marriage the couple will fight with each other so that the husband can emphasize his authority and teach his wife to obey. This concept seems ridiculous to me; however, in Fiji it is a way of life. Often times this emphasis of authority included domestic violence on the part of her husband but in Fijian society this seems to be expected and action is rarely taken to stop it. It was at this point in my interview that my informant told me that she enjoyed being single and that everyone needs to enjoy that time in their lives because married life can be hard at first. Now in her life she is content with her marriage and her husband has been much more understanding and helpful.

When analyzing the information that was collected in this interview I have noticed the lack of independence in her life and the inability to make her own choices. This theme began with the discussion of her childhood and the fact that she was forced to finish her schooling in Suva. From there her unhappiness continued into her marriage and the fact that she had to live with his family, as opposed to getting a house of their own. The lack of independence then continued with fact that her marriage was full of conflicts and domestic abuse in the beginning and she endured this. This emphasizes the role that the community has on a young women's life and how she is supposed to follow the word of others and never herself. But, like many women, this informant was able to control her life more after she had a few children and had enough influence with her husband to insist they leave his parents' home. As an older woman, then, she has more autonomy and more control over her life. Today she has a more peaceful marriage and continues to live in the village with her family, however, I strongly believe that her life would be different today if she were able to make her own decisions and choose what path she wanted her life to take.

Life History Interview #2

The last three life history interviews follow the same theme and continue to stress the lack of independence in the lives of young Fijian women. The second interview was with a young working woman who continued to live in the village with her parents. She was born in Lautoka and lived there for a short time while attending an Indian primary school before moving to Tavua while her father was working in the Gold Mine. There she attended a different Indian primary school. In 1986 she came to Vitawa to finish her primary schooling at a Baptist school and went on at attend Rakiraki Public High School. When her secondary schooling was completed she began her job as a relieving typist in the Education Department in Vaileka but was given the opportunity one year later to continue her studies at the Fiji Institute of Technology. She attended the office systems and secretarial studies program but when she was unsuccessful in finding a job in Suva after the program was finished she returned to Vitawa. She then continued her job as a relieving typist in the Education Department before she accepted the position as a kindergarten teacher in Vitawa.

Like many people, this young woman enjoyed her childhood, a time when people are not expected to play a very great role in society. She also enjoyed her adulthood due to participating in a Christian Youth group. This, again, is a common pattern; women who belong to groups outside the nuclear family often feel more satisfied with their lives because these groups give them an autonomy they lack within the family. She enjoyed her childhood very much and was glad that the majority of it was spent in a village setting. She did in fact move around a lot but was happy when they finally settled down in Vitawa where her father's family resides. During her childhood she played household games with her friends and played in the village ground at any time of the day or night. She mentioned how different it is now because "the times are changing and now the boys in the village and drinking and taking drugs." For this reason young girls today are not allowed to walk around the village and must have strict supervision in their actions. This implies, however, that women are beginning to feel more constrained now than they were in traditional Fijian society.

This young woman, in fact, felt that Fijian parents were too restrictive with their daughters. She had had several boyfriends but felt that her parents interfered with all these relationships. She has had to overcome the strictness of her parents, though, which makes it hard to pursue any relationship. When she does attempt to pursue a relationship of this sort she must lie and sneak around. She states, "When girls go out with their boyfriends they know what will happen to them if they are caught by their parents or siblings and must be ready to leave for good." She often envies the households of other girls who have more freedom in their actions and believes that now at the age of 24 she should be more independent and less under the hands of her parents. She is however thankful to her parents for looking out for her and for all their love.

Although she lacks the independence from her family members that she desires she does not want to settle just yet either. Unfortunately, this young woman feels that the only way to achieve autonomy from her parents would be to marry. But this would put her under the control of a husband. This shows the lack of autonomy experienced by young women. Although she lacks the independence from her family members that she desires she does not want to settle just yet either. As in the case of my next interview as well, she does not want to marry because she does not want to give up her career and her individuality. She believes that if she were to marry, her husband would not let her continue to work and she would be forced to stay at home and do all the chores and cooking for the family. She believes this aspect of Fijian culture "is very unfortunate because the men do not consider how hard I and my parents worked to put me through school and the difficulty I had of finding a job."

This is a great example of the reoccurring theme that found throughout these interviews. The informant finds her life to be dictated by the authority of others and without independence. It begins with the inability to walk around in the village due to the increasing danger and crime that has accumulated in Fiji today. Then from the outside influence it continues with her parents and their strict manners and restricting behavior towards her. Lastly, she must make the choice to continue on with her occupation or get married which is a choice that no woman should have to make. This too is the case with the third interview as well.

Life History Interview #3

The third informant was a younger single women as well, who was also living with her parents in the village. She is the oldest child in a family with nine children and is currently thirty years old. The elder siblings in her family are working while the younger ones are still schooling. She herself began her schooling at the Navatu Primary School while she was living with her uncle in Vitawa village because her father was working for the Agriculture Department and her parents were on transfer to another area of the country. From there she attended Penang Secondary School and afterwards joined the further studies program in Rakiraki Public High for secretarial studies. She obtained her certificates in 1987 and experienced many temporary governmental typing jobs before she began her job as a relieving typist for the Education Department in Rakiraki which she was confirmed at in 1991. She is the main receptionist and typist now for the Education Department and finds her job to be very stressful. She feels that the Education Department overlooks too many schools and school children and is falling behind in their duties.

Like my first informant, she experienced a pleasant time where few demands were placed on her and she had many friends. She enjoyed her childhood very much in the village and talked of roaming around the village and playing small games. She also used to attend Sunday School and made many friends from that experience. She did not have any boyfriends when she was growing up because she thought of all the boys as her brothers; however, since she has been working she has had a number of relationships and they too have been dictated by the influence of her parents. However, unlike the previous informant, this woman felt that there was a good reason for her father's interference and that he was acting in a her best interests. She realizes that her parents have been extremely strict with her but her rationale is that her father is a very educated person and she believes that he knows how to raise his children. She was always told that she was to find a husband and he was to be hard working. Her dad has said, "I do not want any son-in-law of mine to be a carry back." She was also told that she was never to come home pregnant or participate in any other actions that may be humiliating to their family. It was not only in her private life that her parents had a tendency to interfere; it was in her working life as well. Often her dad has expressed his concern to her boss for the workload that is being placed upon her, and this humiliates her, causing tension in the work place which is something that she tries to avoid. This illustrates a dilemma young women face; if they try to achieve autonomy by denying marriage they remain a child in their parents' home under the control of the parents.

She in fact continued by stressing how relationships with men compromise one's autonomy. She does believe that someday she will be married but she is now in a hurry for many reasons. The first is the fact that when you are involved in a relationship you tend to lose track of who you really are. She states, "Having a boyfriend is hard because you devote yourself to him and you lose your confidence and your individuality." Through my experiences here in Fiji for the last three months I too have seen the restrictions and rules that the boys place on their partners during the marriage and even before. Most women that I have talked to enjoy their freedom and find these types of relationships very demanding and dissatisfying. Also she would like to keep her job even when she marries so that if some conflicts arise she will have the income behind her to leave him and continue on her own. This is no easy task in Fiji, however, because most men would not allow their wives to continue working and they would never allow them to keep the money for themselves in fear that they might leave them.

This is another great example of the dilemmas that women face today in Fijian society. They are unable to live on their own, and through the traditions and restrictions of the culture they have to rely on others, whether it is their family or their spouses. It is unfortunate that these women cannot enjoy their married lives and must always give up what they have worked for to satisfy others. The last interview that I was able to able to obtain was less disturbing; however, the themes were of the same nature.

This interview suggested that women can find some autonomy if they live in some kind of non-traditional family without a mate. In this case, the young woman lived at home but her father was dead. In other cases widowed women may not choose to remarry. As with the others, the last interview was with a young single women who was still living with her family. Her father has passed away but her mother and two sisters still remain in the house with her. She was born in Rakiraki and has lived there her whole life. She attended Navatu Primary School and when that was completed she went on to Rakiraki Public High School where she finished in form six. From there she too went on for further studies in secretarial work and obtained her certificates in 1993. She then got a job working for the Ministry of Primary Industry doing secretary work and typing, but in 1995 she left her job and is now residing at home. She currently is 24 years of age, has no job and is relaxing with her family since her father passed away.

She says that she enjoyed her childhood very much and found many things to play with in the village. She was never worried about her safety as one would today, and she does worry about her younger sister growing up. Now she spends her time drinking kava and relaxing with her friends at night. Her parents have never been strict with her and she realizes just how lucky she is. She is active in the church and enjoys her life. She is currently involved in a relationship with a man from Suva but since they are experiencing the long distance relationship it is not that demanding. She is planning on getting married someday but for now she is satisfied with her life as it is. She feels as though she can be her own person and live her life as she chooses. She too is afraid that if she were to marry she would lose the freedom that she has and spend her life trying to satisfy her husband.

In all of these interviews the overall theme is the suppression of women in Fijian society. When they are children they must listen to their parents and respect the words of their elders, when they are adolescents they must adhere to the restrictions put on their lives, and when they are married they must obey their husbands. The only freedom comes about when the husband has passed or left the household. It is hard for all women in Fiji the single, the married, and the widowed. The question then stands, why do they stand for such treatment? The answer that will be stated time and time again is "that is the Fijian way." There is no explanation, only a cultural model that has been used for thousands of years.

On to Chapter 6...