Sienkiewicz - Week 2 Notes

Note Index | Stephanie Sienkiewicz

Stephanie Sienkiewicz Week 2 Field Notes excerpts - Life in the Village

Researched 9/11/99
Typed 9/12/99

First Day in My New Homestay

Summary

Michelle, Megan, and Apryle packed up their luggage in the ten-seater. Steve drove the three of them as well as the rest of the students to Michelle's new homestay family in Navutu Levu Village. Her father, sister and other guests were sitting outside in front of her house on mats. They were drinking kava, affectionately referred to as grog. We emerged from the car and sat on the mat with the group. We introduced ourselves to those we had not met before and then some of us helped Michelle with her bags. I took photographs with the digital camera. After bringing her things inside, we all sat on the mats again and had a bowl of kava. We left Michelle then after a couple of group photos. Steve mentioned that one of the men there had taken on female qualities. He is an example of something we talked about in our last group meeting. Some men would pose a threat to the society as homosexuals, because this society and its religion do not accept homosexuality, but does not since he has taken on feminine attributes. This sort of man hangs around women rather than men and therefore does not pose a threat. The students did not notice his abnormal behavior.

We then brought Apryle to her house in Vitawa Village, or Vitawa Koro. Her father greeted us at the door; we all went inside. I took some photos of her house and village. Her father left to get a man who works in the Education Department Office. He lives in Vitawa also. This man had come with us to do my sevusevu on Wednesday, September 8, 1999 after performing Apryle's. My Nana, mother, and Tata, father, were not home that night, so we made plans to do this on Saturday. We brought Apryle's bags inside and took some photos of her with her Nana and Tata. We left to come to Narewa Village.

When we arrived in Narewa, at my new homestay, again my Nana and Tata were not home. My host brother, Samisoni, was in the house however. His last name is Wanga and he introduces himself as Wanga. I had a quick sevusevu and we decided to drop Megan in Naivuvuni Village and then get my luggage before returning to Narewa.

Megan's family was home and we went inside and sat in a circle on mats. Her father mentioned that they had put the single bed in her room and were waiting for a mattress. We brought Megan's bags in from the car and took some photos of her with her Nana and Tata. We then left and went back to Rakiraki Village. There we picked up Jeffrey's mattress for Megan to borrow and my bags from the Rakiraki Hotel. Karen also came back with us.

We drove back to Narewa, where my Nana and Tata had returned. We came inside and sat in a circle on mats. The kava bowl was already out in the middle of the circle and we joined. After a few rounds of grog drinking, we brought my luggage into my room and Karen, Steve, and the rest of the students left.

My Nana told me to go to town with Tata. So Tata drove to town in the family's small maroon car with passengers Nei, Puni, Siteri, and myself. Nei is my host sister. Puni is my host brother, Samisoni's, son. Siteri is my cousin/brother's daughter. Many people stared and pointed since I was in the car with only Fijians. We took home some taro, bread, and other vegetables that I did not see.

After returning from town, we continued to drink kava until dinner time. The man who works in the Education Department, Enia, told me to sit next to him and he paid a great deal of attention to me while we sat in the circle. He explained parts of Fijian culture and some history- that their ancestors used to live on the mountain next to the village. He also told me that if I had any problems with anything here or with my family, that he would be around often and I could talk to him. He told me to be safe; he was a police officer for 17 years before resigning. I should keep my windows closed at night and lock my room when I leave. He suggested also that Nei and I develop some kind of secret knock so that I know that it is her if she wants to come inside my room.

Nei and Adi, who is my cousin/brother's wife and also Siteri's Nana, made dinner with the help of other cousins. Nana told me she and I would make it the next night and that we'd let them make it that night. I was called from the kava circle to go eat dinner. They gave me a fork and knife at my place setting; Fijians eat with their hands. I was at the head of the table with all of the food congregated around me. I also received the largest helpings of the things which were served in single portions. Nei and Bubu were at the sides of the table adjacent to me. The word Bubu means grandmother or grandfather. Bubu in my house is my Tata's mother. She sleeps in the house behind mine but has most of her meals at mine. Some people place her age at 107, 108, or 110. Across the table from me were the two children. Puni and Siteri. Puni is nine years old; Siteri is 3 years old. Adi, who had done most of the cooking, started to eat as the rest of us were finishing. Nana walked through the kitchen at one point and said that Nei loves to eat; "Watch our or she'll eat you someday." [Personal Reaction: I thought this was a very funny joke coming from the land with the notorious cannibalistic past.] The rest of the people in the house, those drinking kava, did not eat dinner at that time. Andy told me that this is because one should drink grog only on an empty stomach. "No more kava once you have had your tea."

After dinner, though still sitting around the kitchen table, we watched the end of "Rock Nation" and then "Born Free." These are television shows. The living room was still full of kava drinkers. I retired to my bedroom after the second show was finished.
Community Gathering

I met many different people in my house my first night here. I met my Tata Levu, which is my father's eldest brother. I also met someone called a Tatua (spelling?) who is the eldest cousin/brother, according to Enia, the Education Department man. Enia told me that everyone from the village was coming to meet me and welcome me.

He also told me that if people always come to your house, then this is good. He said if not, then it is a sign that you are not a good person. "So Nana and Tata are good people because there are always people here visiting."
Learning the Rules of Respect

The Education Department Officer taught me about the etiquette of a Fijian house and about respect when sitting with others and/or drinking kava. One lesson is not to stand up straight when coming into a house, like we do when outside. One should hunch over or bow down and eventually go down on the knees. We have to kneel while inside; "You do a lot of kneeling in a Fijian house." It is proper to ask permission, "Can I stretch my legs?," while drinking grog. When passing through the circle, exiting the room for example, one has to walk on her/his knees and say "tilou" (pronounced 'chello'), meaning excuse me, when going by others. Also it is typical for men to sit with their knees spread apart and their feet each under the back of a thigh; it is proper for women to sit with their knees together and tilted to one side.

"The thing is, we are all human...If you show someone respect, they will show it back to you." The Education Department Officer told me this after explaining the rules of respect that one follows in Fijian society.
Western Influences

While on our way to town (with Tata, Nei, Puni, and Siteri), Puni was singing or humming a song..."Bing Bang, Wala wala bing bang." Siteri then started singing a popular song done by an American band. I believe the band is the Backstreet Boys. "Tell me why, ain't nothing but a mistake...I never want to hear you say, I want it that way..." [Personal Reaction: I was very surprised to hear this come out of Siteri's mouth and mind. It just seemed so out of context at the moment.]

One of the television programs we watched after dinner was called "Rock Nation." This is a show in which children at a certain level in school perform routines to music. I saw children dressed in costumes that looked like they could have been an old traditional style. They had face paint on and no shirts. They performed their actions however, to an American song called "Scrub" by an American band entitled "TLC."
Blunder

For dinner we had two kinds of fish. Each were served in a bowl in some broth. The fish were cooked whole and remained that way in the bowls. Fijians eat with their hands and pry the fish apart in that way. I alternately used my fork and my hands to eat the fish. After I thought I had finished, I moved my plate to the center of the table. I left my remains - what I thought I should not eat - in the bowl. Bubu, my Tata's mother, told Adi to eat the fish heads that I did not eat. Adi laughed quietly and told me that the woman was very old. She told me that Europeans typically won't eat the fish heads. I wished then that I had.

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Researched 9/14/1999
Typed 9/14/99

Summary

The plan for today was to climb up the mountain next to Narewa called Uli ni Navatu. This means head of Navatu. Navatu is the name of a yavusa in Narewa as well as Vitowa, Naivuvuni, and the Malake Island. A yavusa is "the larger clan...The yavusa has a few mataqalis in it" (Brison, Leavitt, "Census Guide", p.2); the mataqali is the patrilineal lineage. We didn't do the climb however because it rained hard all night last night and the earth would have been too slippery. I woke up in the morning and helped Nei, my host sister, with breakfast. My only task was to place pieces of dough in the oil in the frying pan and flip them when they turned brown on one side. I proceeded to place the tip of my index finger in the hot oil, but refrained from making this obvious because I would have been embarrassed to be the object of joking about kitchen skills. We made something called baba kau, fried dough. We had this with papaya, toasted sandwiches of garlic and butter, juice, and tea. A man named Davice (pronounced Daa-vi-thay), who is by some relation my uncle, gave me a papaya when myself, Nei, Esei, and Puni met him walking on a path home from Naivuvuni yesterday. Esei (pronounced E-say) is my cousin/brother I believe. He has taken me under his wing, showing and telling me things about Fijian culture constantly.

After breakfast I helped clean up as much as my Nana and Nei would allow me to. They still refuse to let me help with the dishes but are ok with letting me clear the table. Then I took a bath. There is a large barrel of water under the spigot in the bathroom. This has a bowl in it. I pour the water over myself with the bowl to wash. Today was special because I washed all of my hair! I hadn't since I've been in my new house, just rubbing a little shampoo in the front of my scalp, because I did not have a towel and was using my t-shirt to dry myself. I purchased a towel in town, Vaileka, yesterday.

Nei and I then went out to draw a map of the village. She was telling me the names of the house locations. After we had done a few of the houses, we saw Esei coming. Nei shouted to him and he joined us for the rest of the map experience. I talked to a few of the villagers. One was an elderly woman that I met in church on Sunday. She's called Bubu, grandmother, because of her age. She isn't as old as Bubu who is my Tata's Nana though. She told me to come by again. I also spoke to a woman named Soko. (This is the woman with all of the markings on her skin that seems very nice.) She lives in the only two-story home in the village. I spoke to a couple of Nei's friends. And I met a woman who lives in one of the houses that is across the street; this is still included in the village.

Upon finishing the map, we went to sit under a mango tree where some of my family members sat. The purpose was to ask Tata Levu, my Tata's eldest brother, census questions about his household. My Tata answered most of the questions I asked Tata Levu. After finishing with Tata Levu's household, I asked the same questions of a woman named Mili. She is often in my house. For instance, she was here keeping the house occupied the night that I was supposed to have my sevu sevu and my Nana and Tata were gone. Paule, my cousin/brother, cut into a coconut so that I could drink the water from the inside. We went inside my house and I finished asking Mili questions. She left then and I began asking Paule my census questions. He sleeps in the house behind mine.

We had lunch after this. We ate baba kau left from the morning, chips (french fries), tapioca, breadfruit, juice and tea. I went to my room to do some work and take a small nap after lunch. When I woke up, Nei said, "Come, we go for a ride." Tata drove with Nei and I as passengers; we picked up Esei on the way. I had no idea where we were going. It turned out to be a sightseeing tour. Esei explained things that we drove by the entire time we were in the car. We stopped the car and got out at one lookout point. Tata, Esei and Nei explained the names of the various islands in view and also where boats can enter the bay. We got back into the car and continued driving West, away from Narewa and away from town. We stopped again at a small harbor, one boat was tied up. Esei explained how women use piles of rocks to trap fish; the fish swim in at high tide and cannot swim back out at low tide. We got back into the car and started for home. We stopped in Naivuvuni to tell Megan, who we were supposed to pick up to climb the mountain this morning, the reason we had not come. When we arrived home Esei and Nei sat with me in the living room and worked with me on my Fijian vocabulary. They explained how to say some everyday phrases. Paule and Nana later joined us.

We ate dinner after this. The course was "seashells" as my Nana called them, spinach, tapioca and breadfruit, sausage, and cabbage and carrot shreds. We had our tea after dinner, everyone, except myself, putting two large spoonfulls of sugar in their tea. Nana, Tata, Bubu, and sometimes Puni drink their tea out of bowls.

After dinner the family retired to the living room for an episode of the American television show, "Seventh Heaven." I went into my bedroom to write my field notes.
Legends

Mili told me two times today that she likes to tell me the history behind things, to tell me the legends so that I know about the past of the village. The first time she told me this was when I asked her the name of her house location during the census questions. The name of her house location is Natavasara. The history behind this is that Denge, the snake god, who lives in the Nikovandra Hills, asked the chief of Narewa village to get him food whenever he was hungry. Mili and Paule, who was listening, said that this was long ago, "in the Dark Ages." Denge asked the chief to get him food especially fish and turtles. The chief then commanded the Malake Islanders, because they are in the same mataqali as the chief of Narewa, to get the food. They had to lay it down on a flat rock, a slab down by the water. This name of this rock is Natavasara. "So the house name is to honor that, it is in memoriam to that, so the legend can still be there." That rock is near a building foundation which is called Naicuvacuva. This is the place where missionaries first landed and the Fijians laid down their witchcraft, etc. and knelt down to God.

One story that Esei told me was about an island in the bay. This is a small island which one can supposedly walk out to during low tide. The legend is that Denge, the god of the Nikovandra Hills, was jealous that the mountain called Uli ni Navatu was taller than his mountains. He knocked the top off Uli ni Navatu. This piece of rock fell out into the water and remains there now.

Mili also wanted to tell me a story since I am planning on climbing up Uli ni Navatu tomorrow. She explained the reason for the name which means head of Navatu. There is one person buried on top of the mountain. The man buried there centuries ago is an ancestor of the present day chief. Mili explained to me that when someone dies it is the duty of the mother's family, called the vasu, to bury the dead person, male or female. A person is a jewel to a family, he/she brings them presents as a part of the family. The family then wants to give the person a special burial to show them how much they appreciate him/her. The chief buried on the top of Uli ni Navatu was placed there as a sign of appreciation. The mountain is between the two villages Narewa and Vitowa. The chief ruled over Vitowa, Narewa, Naivuvuni and the Malake Islands. His mother's family was from Vitowa. The present day chief of Narewa' s name means hard rock. This is because on the top of the mountain, there is no soft soil in which to bury someone. It is all hard. When his ancestor was buried therefore, hundreds of people lined up down the mountain and relayed buckets of dirt up to the top. In this way, enough earth was accumulated to bury the chief. Navutu is the name of the chief's yavusa in Narewa. So the head of the Navatu yavusa is buried atop the mountain. I will look for the grave marker tomorrow.

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Researched 9/15/99
Typed 9/15/1999

Summary

I started the day with breakfast and a bath. My Nana had gone to Naivuvuni to sell something she had crocheted. She said she would get $50 with which she would go to town and buy the material that she will weave into the mats she is making. It looks like rainbow tassels on the edges of the woven palm leaf mats.

Nei, Rosi, who is my cousin/sister, and I walked across the street in front of the village to get Esei, my cousin/brother. We then walked down to Vitawa. We planned on climbing Uli ni Navatu today since we couldn't yesterday. It rained last night and this morning but we decided to go. We picked up Megan in Vitawa; Apryle decided she did not want to go. While walking down the road to get to the mountain entrance, we ran into Samisoni, my brother, who was following behind and going to meet us there. As we started the climb we met three young men who were working on the farms at the beginning of the hill. They ended up leading us all the way up to the top of the mountain. We climbed to the top and took some photos. Then we came down and dropped Megan back off in Vitawa. We walked back to Narewa along the train track line. We sat on a bench under a mango tree. This spot is where my Tata, Tata Levu, and Bubu, and sometime others, usually sit during the day. We cooled off in the wind. Then we went inside for lunch. And back out under the mango tree after lunch. I was talking to my cousin/brother's wife, Adi, for a long time about living in the village and other topics. Her husband, Paule, showed me the lovo, or earth oven, that they had cooked chicken, pork, and breadfruit, or kulu, in. They had dug a pit and filled it with firewood. They burned that wood and put rocks on the fire to make them hot. Then they put the food inside and covered it with coconut and banana tree leaves. They then covered this with dirt. All this they had done before we returned from Uli ni Navatu, so I didn't get to see the beginning stages. I watched the men dig out the buried food. We then came inside to try the food from the lovo.

After this I came into my room to do some work and take a small nap. Each day when Puni, my brother's son, comes home from school and I am sleeping, he speaks to me through my window, "Nei, please, I want to see your computer." Nei means Aunt in Fijian. My sister Nei is called that because her real name is Vinaina and she was named after her aunt Vinaina; Nei is her nickname. After getting up I read some more in my room. Then my brother told me to come into the living room to have one bowl of yaqona with someone. I'm not sure his relation to my family; my brother called him Tata Levu, however it was not my Tata's eldest brother. I had one bowl and refused another, "Vinaka."

Nei, Rosi, Puni, Siteri (Adi and Paule's daughter), and myself sat at the table for dinner. After cleaning up, we remained at the table for my vocabulary lesson of the day. Nei, Rosi, and Rosi's younger sister Vani Vikoka, who's nickname is Lotu, gave me Fijian words for my little notebook.

When this lesson was over, I sat at the table with Nei, Rosi, and Esei, as Esei explained to me community/village spirit and the different types and rules of marriage. My Nana, Tata, brother, and guests sat in the living room drinking yaqona for the duration of the evening. I was told that people from the village gather because everyone's favorite sitcom was on tonight. It is a show from New Zealand called "Shortland Street." The crowd was cheering on the characters and vocally expressing approval or disapproval of the plot.
Legends

Atop Uli ni Navatu, Esei told me a story. Denge, the snake God who lives in the Nikovandra Mountains, had a prime minister type assistant. This man had two sons, twins. One of these is an evil person and one is good. The two of them traveled to Samoa to enter a competition. They won this and received a rooster as their prize. Their father then took that rooster and gave it to Denge. The twins wanted the rooster back. They offered to exchange their pig for the rooster, but their father would not do it. The evil twin then killed the rooster and stole something called the mana box. Mana means magic or knowledge, it's a good spirit (according to my cousin/brother Paule who's house location in Narewa is Mana). When the twins did this, they were forced to leave their home. They traveled all over the world with that mana box then. To different people in different places they gave pieces of the spirit; they spread the mana around the world. For example, the receipt of the mana by the Japanese is the reason for their creativity and technological advancement, according to Esei. He told me that it is because Fiji does not have this mana that they are slow and behind the rest of the world. "I'll think we're supposed to get it soon. Maybe the next millennium or something like that. Then we'll make progress, catching up to the rest of the world. And you'll be able to say, "I've been there."" The mana box fell into the sea and is still there. The power transferred back to the original owner, Denge, at that time, before Fiji received a part of it. People are still looking for that mana box, according to Esei. Mana Island off of Viti Levu's north coast is named after it. The twins are still roaming around Viti Levu; they are not allowed to stop or they will perish. They can be spotted since they travel by Jeep and there are not many American Jeeps in Fiji.

Adi told me another legend today. It is about a man named Thomas Baker and his boots. He was one of the first missionaries bearing Christianity in the early 1800s. At that time Fijians were cannibals. The locals didn't like what he was trying to preach to them and they killed him. They cooked his body to eat it, including his rubber boots. Fijians had never seen shoes before that time and thought they were part of the body. They discovered that the boots where not a strange part of the man's body when they could not eat the rubber.

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Change of Lifestyle: Working Woman to Housewife

My cousin Adi is from a Fijian village called Lauwaki. She explained to me that the village we are in now, Narewa, is much more relaxed than her village was. She doesn't wear the typical Fijian woman's hairstyle; this typical style is short hair that is not long enough to fall down past the ears. Adi's hair is slightly longer than most. She was not allowed to wear her hair in this fashion in Lauwaki. Women must keep hair short and cannot wear anything to cover their heads. Also they must have long sulus or dresses or both at all times, never wearing anything higher than their ankles. But in Narewa, women can wear their hair long. They can even wear shorts inside the house and the length of the dress isn't as important.

However, Adi worked in Lautoka as well. She was a tour guide for eight years. She knows how to speak English, Hindi, some Japanese, and two dialects of Fijian. The two Fijian dialects are essentially two different languages since they each have a different vocabulary. She speaks the dialect of her home village and the Rakiraki dialect. Paule and Siteri speak these two different dialects as well. Adi went to an institute where she trained in Japanese and she often had to speak to tourists who only spoke Japanese.

Her part in the tour company was to explain Fijian plants. A stop on the tour was in gardens, where Adi worked. She told me that there are over 10,000 different kinds of orchids and she had to know the names of all of the plants in the gardens. She demonstrated her expertise when she explained the likeness of an orchid's reproduction to human pregnancy. If you put one seed in a bottle and stop the hole in the top with some cotton to allow air flow, in nine months the seed will grow into 100 plants [I am not sure if this is the correct number but I believe so]. She told me that another name for the orchid is "air flower." This is because it does not grow in soil but in rocks or around trees. It gets its nourishment from the air.

I asked Adi how long she has lived in Narewa. She first came two years ago. Then her husband, my cousin/brother Paule, went to prison [News to me!]. So Adi and her baby, Siteri, went back to Adi's home village. She worked again at her job in Lautoka. Then Paule asked her to quit her job and not work any longer and to move here to Narewa. [I'm not sure when and under what circumstances he got out of prison] She came back then because he asked her to. She noted that "In the olden days we had arranged marriages, now we have love marriages."

She told me that she has asked Paule to try to do something to make some money. She isn't used to not having control over things with money because she worked for eight years. So they've planted some things, cabbage for example, for the first time this year so that they can sell it at the market and get some money. Paule didn't have the opportunity to move to Australia with his parents and sister and brother. They moved two years ago, January 1997. They haven't been back since but regularly send packages of clothes and personal products back for the family. When I asked Adi why they didn't go to Australia she told me that Paule wasn't allowed to leave the country. "Because when you commit a terrible crime, they don't let you leave the country. Is it that way in America?" [My curiosity is peaked right now.]
Gathering of and Responsibility to Community and Family

The turana ni koro is the village judge. Esei told me about this man's role in the community. Whenever there is a dispute in the village, even if between only two people, there will be a community meeting called. The turana ni koro presents speeches at these meetings. He will give a speech to argue why the two sides should come together and make amends. The chief has the final judgement on all matters and the decision goes to him if the judge cannot make one. Every villager "from the breastfeeding baby to the bubus" have to come to the meeting, according to Esei.

Another incidence of community gathering and responsibility is something called a tevu tevu. When two people are to get married, the soon to be bride's Nana and Tata call a meeting. The whole mataqali should come to this meeting. It is their responsibility to get things to furnish the new couple's living quarters. The wife's family carries mats, for example, to the husband's house and in exchange the husband's family's home forever remains open to the wife's family.

A vaka bogi va is another important ceremonial institution. Vaka bogi va means after four nights. Times that the fourth night after an occasion are celebrated are: a baby is named on the fourth night after its birth, a burial and feast takes place four nights after someone dies, and there is a celebration four nights after circumcision. Esei related this information to me. Four, ten, fifty, and one hundred nights after an event is important. My family is going to Lautoka this Saturday to pay respect to a deceased person and their family; it has been 100 nights since the death. On October 9, the whole family will be going to Nadi for a tevu tevu. The woman who belongs to the mataqali is already married but the formal presentation of the mats, etc. has to be done yet. Cows are presented at funeral feasts to give respect and to share food together. The family celebrates that the deceased has been with the family for a long time and appreciates every contribution that he/she made to society. Nei agreed that "this is a very important one [to know]."

Esei told me that the bloodline stays very pure here. His supporting information is that names get reused so that the family names never die. A couple has to ask their elders before they can name their child. When a person dies there may not always be a new baby to take the name. The family has to wait then, until a baby is born to take the name of that deceased relative.
Weddings

Esei, with Nei's aide, explained different kinds of weddings to me. He started by saying there used to be more arranged marriages. Now they only occur when a family only has one son and the other family only has one daughter. There is a four day procedure to make sure that this woman is still a virgin. The couple has to stay in a room together for four nights while he finds out if she is a virgin. The four night ordeal is called the rabo. Esei told me that one "can hardly find this in Fiji, but that it is very important for people who are marrying their daughter to an important family. If the husband finds out that she is still a virgin then that makes both families happy and they can go ahead with the wedding. If he finds out that she is not, he can reject her.

The result of the rabo is revealed at a double feast which people bring food to. The potential husband's family buys a pig and cooks it in the lovo, the earth oven. The man tells his family the result of the four nights but her family does not know till they see the pig at the feast. If the family shows the head of the pig to the potential bride's father, it is a signal that she is still a virgin. If she is not then they cut the head of the pig off. Her father sees the back part of the pig where they have cut out a hole to signal "Somebody was in there before our boy went in there." If this is the case, the husband and his family must decide if they will still 'take her' or not. They still show the pig however, even if the man decides he will marry her. If he will still marry her, her family has to present the feast to thank the family for their favorable decision. Then the couple may be married.

To be married the man's family has to go to the woman's family on his behalf. He cannot go himself. Members of his mataqali go for him. The duguci (pronounced doogoothi) is the process of asking for a woman's consent to marry a man. A tambua, or whale's tooth, is presented, along with yaqona, to the wife's family.

A second type of marriage is what Esei called common marriage. The man brings the woman to his house in the night and her family does not know where she has gone. If someone from his family sees them being close or intimate, then they force the couple to decide if they are going to start a family or not. If the answer is yes, his family should find a way as quick as possible to tell her family where she is. Sometimes, according to Esei, her family goes to the police since they do not know where she is. His family has to apologize for their family member's actions and demonstrate to the community that the two have been going together. They ask for forgiveness with a kava ceremony. The family then requests that the woman's family let her stay with the husband's family for good; they do this with a tambua and yaqona. If the answer is affirmative, she may stay with him and their mataqalis have to arrange for a wedding.

Esei called this method of marriage "the stupid way" when it meant that the couple left town or failed to notify their families of their location right away. He also told me that there will be no police record recorded if a brother of a woman beats up the man who wants to be the woman/sister's husband for just taking her. He must bring her back to his family rather than somewhere else. That is where they will both be safe. Her family has to follow the proper procedures when they come to his house and can't act irrationally.

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