The Counseling Center staff welcomes consultations with concerned and/or interested parents via phone or in-person. We encourage you to call and discuss any concerns you may have regarding the well-being of you son or daughter. We can be reached at (518) 388-6161. The Counseling Center staff member that you speak to can provide general consultation, suggestions, and recommendations on how to enhance your child's well-being, as well as ways to speak with your child about scheduling an appointment (if appropriate). We can also contact your child to let them know that their parent has called with concern about their academic and/or personal well-being. In doing so, we would encourage them to come in for an appointment.
Please understand that strict and complete confidentiality applies for all students who receive services at the Counseling Center, and that we cannot release any information to parents without the student's written consent. We also cannot to confirm or deny that a student has come to the Counseling Center for services or disclose any information without a signed Release of Information form.
You know your child better than anyone, and you are likely going to be the first place a distressed student will turn to. Please remember that the Counseling Center is an excellent resource for your son or daughter to use for support.
A special note to parents
Sending your son or daughter off to begin their higher education at Union can be stressful and bring about a wide range of emotions for you. It might help you to know that there are many offices at Union here to help your child succeed. The Counseling Center is just one of the resources that will help your child adjust to the various stresses and demands that they will face.
It is also important that you address your own feelings about this transition. Doing so will help everyone in your family adjust to the many challenges ahead. Below are some coping strategies that may be of some assistance. You might also find the book Letting Go: A Parent's Guide to Understanding the College Years, by Coburn and Treeger, to be particularly helpful.
- Don't ignore your feelings. Allow yourself the opportunity to experience your feelings. It is normal to have confusing and conflicting emotions when a child leaves home, especially if it is the first or last child. Feelings range from sadness to relief and from joy to apprehension. Whatever the feelings are, there is little benefit to ignoring them. A healthier approach is to talk about these feelings with family, friends, spiritual support, or a professional.
- Make sure that you make your own health a priority. You will not be able to help your child adjust (if they encounter problems) if you do not take care of yourself. Try to get enough sleep, eat healthy meals, and exercise regularly. Do things that you have enjoyed doing in the past or pick up a new hobby.
- Remember your part in your student's success. They have made it into college with your help and guidance. Now they must transition into becoming an adult. Give yourself a pat on the back and congratulate yourself on the success of your family!
What to do When Your Child is Having Difficulty
College is a big transition in anyone's life. There is intellectual stimulation, new relationships, increased choices, and greater autonomy. It is not uncommon for some students to experience a period of adjustment during this transition period. Below are some suggestions for helping your child through this period of time.
- Listen carefully to your child's concerns and complaints. See if there is an immediate solution that your child is not thinking about.
- Let your child structure the conversation. Sometimes they will just need a listening ear for them to vent to. Keep in mind that you may be left feeling worried and concerned, but after giving your child the opportunity to talk, they may be feeling more relaxed. If you are still feeling worried the next day, contact your child to follow up and see how they are doing.
- Set realistic expectations about academic achievements and grades. Not every 'A' student in high school will be an 'A' student at Union. The academic environments are significantly different. It is important for you to be supportive and focus on your child's development and what they are learning rather than on specific letter grades.
- Allow your child to explore their academic opportunities. If your son or daughter decides to change their academic pursuits from what they originally intended, or from what you believe they should be studying, it is important to allow them to do this. They have to work in their career for the next 30+ years, not you, so be supportive of any changes they make.
- Stay in touch. Many students feel that they cannot call their parents in times of crisis because of the distance. Your child needs to be aware that you are available to talk about everyday events and difficult issues. One way of doing this is to develop a plan to stay in touch on a regular basis. Care packages are always welcomed by the students as well.
- Encourage your child to seek assistance from the resources available on campus. Remind them about Advising, the Counseling Center, the Becker Career Center and Health Services, along with the various staff members and faculty members that are available to them.
- If you are concerned that they may not be reaching out for support, please feel free to contact us yourself. You can contact the Counseling Center by calling (518) 388-6161. We recommend discussing this with your child first so that they are aware that you are going to make a call.
Crisis Situations
For some students, situations arise where outside assistance is necessary. Some examples of this include (but are not limited to):
- If there is any mention of suicide
- If your child has a history of psychological and/or treatment issues
- If your child is excessively spending money, appears depressed, anxious, or agitated
- If your child is behaving differently or engaging in unusual or risky behavior
- If your child is dealing with a substance use/abuse issue
Union College provides many resources and professionals with specialized skills and training for if/when situations like these arise. One of the psychologists at the Counseling Center would be glad to discuss any issue with you. If there is any mention of suicidal thinking, it is important to let us know so we can address the issue and do our best to ensure the safety of your child.
Please remember, however, that state and federal laws regarding confidentiality apply to the Counseling Center staff. These laws, along with professional ethics, prohibit the Counseling Center staff from talking with you about your child unless your child has provided written consent for such communication. However, you are always welcome to provide us with information.
Just for You
Sending your son or daughter off to begin their higher education at Union can be a stressful and bring about a wide range of emotions for you. It might help you to know that Union is here to help your child succeed. The Counseling Center is one resource that will help your child adjust to the various stresses and demands that they will face. Meanwhile, it is important that you address your own feelings about this transition. Doing so will help everyone in your family adjust to the many challenges ahead. Below are some coping strategies that may be of some assistance. You might also find the book 'Letting Go: A Parent's Guide to Understanding the College Years' by Coburn and Treeger
- Don't ignore your feelings. Allow yourself the opportunity to experience your feelings. It is normal to have confusing and conflicting emotions when a child leaves home, especially if it is the first or last child. Feelings range from sadness to relief and from joy to apprehension. Whatever the feelings are, there is little benefit to ignoring them. A healthier approach is to talk about these feelings with family, friends, spiritual support, or a professional.
- Make sure that you make your own health a priority. You will not be able to help your child adjust (if they encounter problems) if you do not take care of yourself. Try to get enough sleep, eat healthy meals, and exercise regularly. Do things that you have enjoyed doing in the past or pick up a new hobby.
- Remember your part in your student's success. They have made it into one of the best technical institutions in the country with your help and guidance. Now they must transition into becoming an adult. Give yourself a pat on the back and congratulate yourself on the success of your family.
Useful Internet Links
Listed are some Mental Health links that will provide you with more information about the practice of mental health and psychological problems. Remember, if you would like to speak with one of the psychologists at the Counseling Center, please call 388-6161.
